This week we here at the Kilted Coaches bring you a little history lesson all about the exciting Scottish sport of Haggis Tossing. When we mentioned this sport before a few of you didn’t believe that it is a real sport!! So we have gone searching through the archives to bring you footage that shows the formation of HAGGIS TOSSING!!
All facts are brought to you by the Scottish Haggis Tossing Association of Scotland – so any concerns or complaints please direct them to the above association.
Former Olympic Gold Medalist Haggist Tossers – Jock McPlop and Bawbag McTavish.
TRANSCRIPTION
So we’ve received a few emails in on the back of our haggis tossing video.
Some of you are not believe that it’s a real sport
So I mean we had to look out some archive footage
And we’ve found something for you and we’re going to show you that right now
This is a public announcement please stop what you’re doing and listen carefully this announcement is brought to you by the Scottish Haggis Tossing Association of Scotland, thank you.
Hi, Joe Smoe, here haggis tossing was first invented in the seventeen hundreds when those English ******* squashed the Jacobite Rebellion to rub salt in the wounds the English would steal the food from the Scot’s tables and the only thing the Scots could do to survive was to pass the food from person to person to stop those English ******** from getting it and so the sport of Haggis Tossing was born. Here to tell you more. That’s right, Joe, we’ve been tossing for over twenty years and not just Scotland.
We’ve been tossing all over the world
Competition rules state that you should balance on an inflatable ball spaced the length of a man apart
You know what they say, Joe.
Some men are longer than others
The aim is to pass the haggis from person to person without falling off the ball or dropping the haggis
You have use a good quality haggis
Ideally caught first thing that morning
The secret of tossing is you’ve got to remember the five T’s of tossing
Toss
Throw
Tip
Chuck
Toss
Gentleman two of those were toss and one began with C
Enough of you backchat, Joe, there’s only two rules that you need to remember
Rule number one; Coach is always right and
Rule number two; In the extremely unlikely event that your coach is ever wrong refer to rule number one
So just remember haggis tossing is a sport of extreme violence and exclusion
So when picking your partner remember to pick the biggest tosser you know
Im BawBag McTavish and I’m Jock McPlop – toss away folks
So as you can see it used to be an Olympic sport it could be again one day
So get your haggis out and lets get tossing
Get tossing