Energy Vampires
We’ve all experienced energy vampires but unfortunately sometimes you don’t even realise what’s happening until it’s too late. The type of person that talks AT you rather than WITH you. The type of person that after just a brief encounter can leave you drained of energy.
Look at your relationships and assess which people make you feel on top of the world and which people, although they probably mean well, suck the life out of you.
This episode is all about vampires…energy vampires more to that point. So, you may or may not know someone that does this to you, so generally they have a lot going on in their life, what ever that may be, there is always a catastrophe, always a tragedy there is always something that they are talking about that you do not get a word in edge ways! Sometimes its just boring stuff and they just want to talk and people get sucked in to this way of living.
A great example of this…a friend that I grew up with who is a great guy but is an energy vampire! They used to phone me almost on a daily basis, then went down to weekly and eventually faded out as I kept ignoring the phone calls. Ultimately, he would come on the phone and just talk about the most boring stuff, especially about his work, which was a very boring job! As I was sat on the while this person would talk and talk and talk, for at least 40 minutes, I would finish the phone call and I would be so drained! As result of this I was very aware of my energy levels and it came to my attention that needed to avoid these phone calls! Unfortunately I had come at the price of our friendship!
Another example is if a friend is going through a real hardship and you have given all the advice you can possibly think of, all the tips, tricks, direction and support, however they would never take this advice, for what ever reason and still being entwined in being part of the problem. Picking inappropriate times to spill the entire problem on the table and getting to the point, when you see this person, you would be scared to ask if they were ok just incase they then tell you the whole story yet again. The story that you already know! Feeling that you have given all the advice you could give in the matter and trying to give positive reinforcements and support, knowing that the person wasn’t going to listen to anything said. Therefore the role you would play, in this situation, would be to listen however the feeling of all the energy being sucked out of you would come around quickly!
What is happening here is energy transfer, this is something that not many science books that talk about it and certainly nothing that you learn at school but ultimately its a natural thing and you will experience it in your own life.
If someone steps on stage for public speaking, as an example, once you are on stage, you are absorbing energy from the audience. If something interesting is said and why gossip is so popular, you absorb this energy from them! So when you step off stage you get a great felling after absorbing so much energy. So having this in everyday life, you will have people that talk to you or at you rather than talk with you!
In a very small scale, Stephen and I will have a bit if banter. He will say something smart and I would respond in shock but after we laugh and appreciate it, we just move on. Regardless of what was said, there is a connection and kinetic energy bouncing back, like a game of tennis, and that is why it works and why we enjoy as a social species speaking to people that are interesting, whether it’s banter back and forth or if it’s interesting gossip, you enjoy the too and fro. The problem is, is when it is very on sided! So even in a professional setting and you are chatting, sometimes you can be talking about an interesting topic and you are bouncing off on anther and transferring energy, fundamentally we both win as when we finish the conversation feeling it was great chat and have achieved many things. Its only when it is one sided, everybody has someone like that in their life that is the talker…the energy vampire!
These people won’t just do this to you, they absorb your energy and will immediately feel better for it and will do the same to next person, its necessarily their fault but it is just what they do! Just like a vampire, once they have tested the blood/energy…they need it and crave it!
Now…it is your job to look after yourself! If you recognise this in anybody, whether it be a friend or a member of your family, then you have to cut them off! Its so important! You have to understand the kind of person you are. Now you are either the person that will stand your ground and say ‘you’re not letting me get a word in edge ways’ and put them in their place. If you are no that type of person endnote that forward, then you will have to cut them off, otherwise you will be drained of your energy every time you meet them.
On a more serious note, it is known that in relationships when one party is the talker and the other person suffers from depression! This being quite serious, take a look around you, are you giving someone all your energy to the point you are now suffering from depression? Its unfortunately very common, when you get the talker and they feel that they are doing you a favour by giving you solutions and talking over and over, however they end up absorbing all the energy, they might mean well at the time but still not helping the situation.
If you are sat there and someone is talking at you, although you are not necessarily talking back, your energy is flowing into them. Unless you have something to give back or a question or an interesting point in the opposite direction of the conversation, you will just be getting the life drained from you.
Here comes our advice…treat it like a serious injury. Imagine if you sustain a serious cut and have burst an artery, if you leave the bleeding to continue, you will die! An artery will not stop bleeding on it’s own you have to do something to stem the bleeding!
Step one…stop the bleeding or stop the energy flow.
Step two…you will need to do a bit of self care because if you have spending a lot of time with someone or helping them through a situation resulting in all your energy being drained, you need to do something for you to help recover some of that energy! You can do this by having healthy relationships and healthy conversations. This is the equivalent of applying the bandage.
Step three…preventing it from happening again! If you are a strong minded person that would be blunt with the individual and put a stop to it there and then, great! If not, you will just have to try and avoid them!
Think about your own situations, who is draining your energy? Is anybody draining your energy? If nobody is draining your energy and you feel great…then maybe you are the energy vampire! Be genuinely interested in other people and their lives!